The day I gave up…

It was a normal Sunday for us. We got up, ate a hurried breakfast and drove to church a bit early. Once there my husband and I practiced with the worship team, and since we were both practicing, our little girl had no one to keep her pinned to the pew. The first 10 minutes were fine, but the other 30 were a little different. It’s easy to get really frustrated in those moments when you see your child running wildly through a place of worship. But God spoke to me as I watched her talk with our pastor, one of the youth group kids, somebody helping with sound, and again as she ran up to say hi to every musician and singer on the platform. She even decided to “play piano” on the music minister’s back when he wasn’t looking.

Someone leaned over to me and said, “She’s really comfortable in her own skin today!” To which I politely rolled my eyes, nodded my head and said, “yeah.” I tell ya, I’m a real wordsmith. Hah.

But, as I said, God spoke to me, almost like he slowed down time for a minute to let me see how precious each encounter was. No one was aggravated by her. They received kindness. No one was annoyed. They enjoyed a laugh at her silly antics. No one was frustrated. They all saw something I couldn’t; a little girl just being a little girl. Everyone smiled. I gave up. I gave up feeling aggravated and annoyed and put-out that she would DARE disobey me. I gave up the notion that she could actually sit still for a 45 minute practice session. I gave up the idea that she could sit idly by instead of giving a sweet hello to every person she saw that morning. And that’s just what it was. Sweet.

I gave up my too big expectations, but more than that, I gained a new-found love for the sweetness in my little girl. I knew it was there. I see it in the way she always needs one more hug, the sweet prayers she lifts up for those who are hurting, the tender care she takes when she caresses our faces. But it’s easy to forget in the hurried moments on a busy Sunday morning, or a fast school day, or any time really. It’s easy to forget. It’s easy to give up in the other direction too. But that’s something I won’t do! I will certainly still instruct and discipline my daughter. I won’t give up on raising her well. But maybe it’ll be a little easier to remember just how little she really is and enjoy this time just a little bit more.

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